Tonks' News
by PagesofPotter
Summary: Tonks has some news for Lupin. When his reaction breaks her heart, will she be able to forgive the man she loves? Bad summary, I know, but it's my first. Be kind. I don't own anything to do with Harry Potter.


Tonks sat cross-legged on the matted moth-eaten arm chair in the spare room of the Burrow. She was staring out of the wooden paned window, through the rain and out into the dark shadows beyond. She didn't know how long she had been sitting there. She felt a tear trickle down her cheek, mimicking the rain battering against the cracked glass. Looking around her, she realised that she was shivering with cold. The room smelled of damp, and she became aware of the aged moisture of the chair fabric.

Tonks' heart felt heavy. Earlier, she had told Remus her weighted news. They had been in the kitchen at the time. Remus had preceded to back around the large wooden table away from her with a look of pale panic etched on his lined face. He had asked her to repeat it, and had muttered it to himself in between quick shallow breaths. "I'm sorry", was all he had managed before looking her directly in the eye and leaving the room at a run, grabbing his shabby travelling cloak and slamming the door behind him. Tonks' heartbroken disbelief was met only by the scraping sound of a bewitched washing-brush on a rusty saucepan.

A knock at the door woke Tonks from her melancholy reminiscence. Molly Weasley appeared, her concerned presence and motherly features warming the room slightly. "Dora?" she muttered tentatively. Tonks turned her head slightly in reply. "I saw Remus leave, he looked-" Before she could finish her sentence, Tonks' head had fallen into her hands and her shoulders began to shake with quiet sobs. Molly hurried over and knelt down beside the arm chair, placing a loving hand on Tonks' knee. "Oh Dora, what happened?"

Tonks wiped her eyes on the back of hand, and found she couldn't meet Molly's searching eyes. "I'm pregnant", she choked. The hand on her knee tensed for a second, before Molly seemed to recover herself and embrace Tonks in a warm hug. "Oh congratulations Dora, that's wonderful!" As she released her, Molly frowned to see the young woman shake her head as more tears spilled from her eyes. "No, no. Remus is angry."

Molly hesitated, "But -"

"He thinks - he thinks it'll be like him, that the child we be a werewolf."

Molly couldn't say that the thought hadn't crossed her own mind.

"Oh Molly, what am I going to do?" Tonks lifted herself up from the chair, and strode over to window. Her head dropped against the pane, "I can't lose Remus," she uttered in a heart-wrenching whisper. Sympathy fell over Molly's face; she got up and reached to push Tonks' now dark blue hair behind her ear. "Now you listen to me," Molly said, her hazel eyes bright, "Remus is just reacting like any new father would. It's a very big step, having a child. He'll come round."

Tonks' head turned towards Molly. "Do you think so?" she muttered, hungry for any reassurance. "Of course!" Molly replied, pulling her gently back towards the armchair. She flicked her wand towards the candles resting on the tall wooden cabinet, and they flickered to life, spreading a comforting glow around the damp walls.

"Remus will have his worries," Molly continued. "But how could he not, with the life he has led?" Tonks wiped her eyes, and once again looking desperately outside. "Exactly! He doesn't want his child to… to suffer like he has."

"And what about you?"

Tonks hesitated and then whispered, "I would love any child that came from us; whatever and whoever they were."

"And that is all that matters" Molly said quietly, "and Remus will come to see that, in his own time."

Molly, dressed in her long dressing gown and worn slippers, stood in her kitchen straightening Arthurs work shirts on their twisted hangers. After making Tonks promise to visit the Healers in St Mungo's within the next fortnight, she had left her about two hours ago, sitting in the arm chair in the make-shift spare room. It seemed Tonks had finally calmed down, and sleep had begun to overcome her.

The front door shut quietly in the hall. Molly turned to see an exhausted and ragged looking Lupin slowly entre the kitchen, his travelling clock tucked under his arm. He looked as rough as he did after a full moon, and she could see the pain in his features. Lupin nodded towards her; "Molly."

"Tonks is in the spare room" she said quietly. Lupin glanced up at her, and a shameful colour rose in his cheeks. He fidgeted with the splinters on the long dining table. He couldn't meet her eye. "Is she… have you spoken to her?"

Molly tilted her head. "She loves you Remus."

Lupin ran his hand through his thinning hair, and without a word, headed for the stairs.

Tonks slept in the armchair, with her legs curled up under her chin. Her sleep was shallow. She twitched awake as she heard the footfalls on the stairs coming up to the room. She waited for the knock. There were three light taps. Tonks sighed, she just wanted to sleep. Reluctantly, she turned in the chair, "Who is it?"

There was a pause. "It's me."

Tonks fought back the feeling of relief and excitement that rose in her chest, and forced herself to remain silent in her chair instead of leaping up, throwing open the door and embracing her husband like she really wanted. She was still hurt, and she needed Remus to see that.

On hearing no reply, Lupin tried the door handle. It twisted freely in his grasp and he slowly entered the dark room. "Dora?" he asked cautiously. He flicked his wand towards the outline of candles on the draws, which lit and dimly illuminated Tonks' folded form in the arm chair. She was facing away from him.

"Dora…" Lupin started, delving his hands deep into his pockets and staring at the floor, "I don't know what to say." His voice cracked. "I'm so sorry."

"What for?" Tonks' reply was sharp, and she continued to avoid her husbands' regretful gaze. Lupin had tried to brace himself for this type of reaction; he knew he had hurt his wife by leaving, but he desperately wanted to meet her eyes, to see what she was feeling. "For everything", was his feeble response.

Unsatisfied, and finally succumbing to her rising feelings of anger, Tonks spun round and rose from the chair. Lupin saw her hair was a dark orange colour, and that her large brown eyes were red rimmed and damp. "You needn't apologise for this child" she said, glaring at him. "I want it, and I will love it, and-"

"Then I am sorry for my reaction. And I am sorry for leaving you." Lupin tried to advance towards Tonks, to hug her, but she backed away and turned to the window. All he could do was stare at her back, and wish for her anger to lessen so that he could explain his actions. But he knew better than to push Tonks in an argument. To his slight surprise, he saw her wipe a stubborn tear from her cheek. "I thought you might not come back." Tonks' voice came out as a strangled whisper. She hated herself for sounding so vulnerable, but she couldn't lie to him.

Lupin faltered, "I was scared. For myself, for you and for the child. You don't understand… my kind don't usually marry, let alone breed-"

"Breed?!"

Lupin withdrew from her. He should have known Tonks wouldn't accept this argument. She had known the dangers of associating with a werewolf when she agreed to marry him. For her, this was no different. The risks were the same, and she had already accepted them, and him. "This is just… uncharted territory," Lupin muttered, with little conviction, and wrapped his armed around himself. Deep inside, he was so scared. He never wanted to burden Tonks with this, or worse an unborn child. But if Tonks was prepared to take this chance…

"I want our child Remus" Tonks said, as if she has read his mind. She turned back to him, and saw his shrunken fatigued frame, and the regret written on his face. "Dora, can you forgive me?"

"If you really want this child." Inside, Tonks knew she loved Remus as much as she always had. She wanted this family. But it hurt her that he didn't understand that, or wasn't prepared to acknowledge the possibility that, in fact, their baby could be happy news. She thought back to when he left the kitchen; it was as if her heart had been cracked a little bit. She looked enquiringly at her husband. "Do you want this child?"

Lupin hesitated. "It's part of us-"

That was as promising as it was going to get just now. A wave of exhaustion seemed to embrace Tonks, and she realised she was too tired to argue this any further. "I need to think. Please, I want to sleep alone."

"Of course." Lupin nodded. He too recognised when to back down. He turned and opened the door to leave. Just as he was walking out, he heard Tonks behind him. "Remus?" From beside her arm chair, Tonks felt her aching heart falter. "I'm glad you came back." He let a tiny smile tickle his lips, before he ducked under the door frame, and heading downstairs, "I love you." He didn't know if she heard him.


End file.
